Rejuvenation

Two months back I had a terrible weekend, lonely/depressed/sad/bored.... and I decided I have to take some action. Something to keep me busy so that I can forget my stressful work in the evenings and pass time on weekends. I enjoy painting but I am not as good as I want to be. I always wanted to learn painting formally but Indian parents usually never encourage such interests. Someone said 'Every talent needs training'... so I decided to take painting classes.

Thanks to Rima's push I actually registered for first available class at San Diego Art and Design center. Two weeks back I finished my Acrylic-I and now I am taking Acrylic-II. It is turning out to be hectic with work hours and all the travel I do.. still I am having some good time and hopefully it will turn out to be a good decision in future... its an expensive hobby!

Completed Paintings:
- Golder Summer
- War and Love

Emotions..

Why God did such an unfair thing with us women.... Emotions are so troubling that you can't think straight and cannot solve a simple problem easily

And at the same time men are least emotional and we are stuck with them:(

Btw.. I am planning to shut down this blog

P.s. I by mistake posted something bad here and removed it soon. If you read it before I removed you can hate me but that was just a venting out and then feel better.. Common I live all alone and going through not a very good phase of life. Everyone does that plz don't judge me!

How to entertain yourself....

I went for pedicure and manicure today. For the first time in US felt like an idiot as u didn't know the protocols but enjoyed..
Later read below link 'how to entertain yourself when bored'
http://www.ehow.com/i/#article_5086571

I guess I am already doing many thing out of the list....

Time is flying and so am I

Its my non-travel weekend and as always sat morning i am at Starbucks next to my house and sitting at same couch. Like the sameness of this routine:(

Life is going too fast and I am having tough time to give it any directions. Needless to say nothing is happening as I planned and wished for.. Nothing! Still thankful for what I have.

Last 4 weeks...
Florida trip was relaxing and fun. I almost got an iPad. Yes I returned it. This I am going to hear all my life for sure! I am perfect in ruining special moments:) our wedding anniversary. I got 3 cards and a florida souvenir enough to make me happy! Anyway.. No excitement on anniversary though we tried to be as happy as we can be. The special day was ordinary full of work no lunch time going home late and at last one friend called to wish(shocked that few people on earth do remember our anniversary) and thanks to good friends went out for dinner. Ofcourse without the other half(irony!)

Then came Yellowstone!!! Too good to digest. My all time expression: how can one place on earth be so beautiful, amazing and interesting! Every person on earth should go visit this place. This trip needs a separate blog. Overall met friends and had fun!

Last weekend was fun and relaxing trip to Pittsburgh. I flew all the way to attend a bachlorate party!!! Fun it was. Took first vacation at job just to sit at home and recall I have a life! I had to work Thursday and Wednesday night to have a peaceful break(suck!). Break was totally worth it. We are moving out of my all time favorite apartment in Pittsburgh. Not many people visited us in pit but it was the best apartment I ever stayed in. Will miss you 5562 Hobart street apt 518:)

And last but not the least this week company announced that my work division is closing and it's scary. Company might sell us, layoff or absorb us within other divisions.

Let's see ... Excitement and adventure never ends!!!

Right Hemisphere Dominance

I did this test to find out my left/right brain dominance. Interestingly true...I have:

Right Hemisphere Dominance

HOLISTIC. RANDOM. CONCRETE. INTUITIVE. NON VERBAL. FANTASY ORIENTED. If you have a Right Hemisphere Dominance, you process information from whole to parts: you don't pay attention to details but look instead at the big picture. You don't adapt well to fixed schedules or rules: you like to manage your own time and enjoy doing many things at the same time. You learn best with pictures, diagrams, charts, and videos, and are good at talking about your feelings and interpreting other people's emotions. Sometimes you may know that something is right and not know why: you just know it, and therefore you are great at seeing through lies or tricks. You are impulsive and very expressive, and probably are a dreamer. You are best at social activities and have a special quality for artistic endeavours such as music or creative activities.


Now I know why I have dificulty in few areas at work.. I am trying to find out if I can improve on my weaker side. Desparately need it:(

Runaway...

I want to runaway to a new place where I don't know anybody nobody knows me and start life all over again :) it sounds fun, challeging and scary!

This blog is turning into a emotional/personal blog??? Not good .. All because of iPhone app

Travel... Contant of my life

I have been travelling, moving, relocating almost all my life. As much as I enjoy the newness or change attached to it I have now started hating it. I am now bored of the constant change:)
I don't want to move!!! Wish I could be one of those who can think/do/plan everything as they want and not to worry about the move. Small things like finding a doctor also makes me think about my unstable life and finding another doctor at new place:).. Back in india I recall all army families do it but they are doing it for a great cause. What's my great cause??? Thinking thinking thinking... Nope ! .. no cause but I AM the cause :)

Anyway howsoever I hate it I


still know travel and move are good for you. You learn so much, know so much more and you make so many new friends. Just that you don't know how it feels to be in one place with same friends, family and relationships for many many years!

And yes how does it feel to not travel alone? I think it feels so good! I know few friends who've never trvelled anywhere ever alone. Ahhh my mom. Guess I am experiencing her share of independence:)

I am in flight right now and nothing else but this dejavu of alone travelling in flight made me write this post....

Being happy or making happy!

One should make others happy or be happy by making others happy ?

What if I want to be happy myself and making others happy makes me happy. However you can't make everyone happy:(

Learning!!!

Life is a never ending learning process. Every now and then I realize how few things I am doing today were so different for me sometime back and I felt that I am better at those now. And after few monthsor years I realize no no no ! I am better at it now and learned few key things about it recently. And how ignorant I was few years back.. And then the thought hits me that any moment what I think I know is really not enough and I am so ignorant:(

In this whole process of learning and realization, I start realizing that the person in front of me says as if he/she knows everything actually doesn't know everything but he/she thinks that he knows eveything. And that , right there is the bad person inside me smiling silently and not giving a damn to what he/she is telling me:( that's bad that's very very bad!

Anyway.. Not sure why I took this topic and started writing about it. Actually because I am sitting in a starbucks enjoying my chai latte and found an app by which I can write blogs using my phone. And before i thought of writting a blog i was thinking about something which is in my mind for last few days/weeks/months that how much I have learned about so many things in last 2-3 years!!!!

So much to do.. [Revisited]

2009 was an interesting year for me. Last year a part of me screwed up completely and a part of me was rejuvenated... I was free most of the year. I spent as much time as I can on things I wanted to do. But I am lazy:). Looking back at the list, in some way, I covered half of the list.

- I want to travel the whole world
---- I tried to visit one place every month. Not all over the world but small places nearby

- I want to do charity work and social work. The most satisfying thing for me
---- I always wish doing it. In 2009 I was at the receiving end in terms of help/favors/charity. I realized if I am having so much problem in just getting my resume forwarded. Its impossible for people in real need to get any help. This is sad! We all have become so self oriented and talking/discussing/thinking about our own problems/happiness that helping is extinct now. (I can think of only 2 people I know doing social service...May be I don't know. People secretly do some social/charity work? why would they broadcast it... anyway just thinking...)

- I want to paint soooo much of various styles and categories
---- Tried but not much luck till now

- I want to sew so many things I have in my mind
---- I ended up with bedroom curtains and a DIY bath rug(a disaster!!!)

- I want to work in industry and be at a good position. Because I love to work
---- No comments

- I want to party regularly
---- This one was done fairly well considering the circumstances

- I want to have 5 kids or 3. I know its easy to say but no harm dreaming
---- No chance. I have realized my life is already quite adventurous. Cant add more to it! We are happy the way we are

- I want to live with my family for more time than I do
---- One thing I was able to do in 2009. Happy about it

- I want to live with Mama(granny-in-law) for more time
---- Yay!!! Did it. It was so much satisfying

- I want to get organized
---- Doing good. My house looks like home. Considering constant moving and shifting I am doing good

- I want to be much healthier
---- I am on the right track. Not yet there!

- I want to shop more often than now
---- hmm.. in 2010

- I want to read more books
---- Ohh I did. The only thing I did was going to library and reading something or the other.. I would add watching movies

I use "I" that doesn't mean I was alone. I should have used 'we' in various places, without Mr. Husband nothing is possible.

On second thoughts, I think the wish list was stupid and kiddish. Or it was not realistically planned. Lets work on 2010, wish list and resolutions!!!

A Very Happy New Year to all... May all your wishes come true and 2010 lets you follow your dreams and resolution forever!!!

Dream Interpretation

The Dream:

I am in the beauty parlor of Dehradun. The place I usually go and I visited this time too. My right hand is hurt and it’s been wrapped with bandage. I have a supporting string in my neck to hold the hand. Exactly like a broken bone. Just that the plaster is not there it’s bandaged. Something happened in the dream and someone temporarily wrapped my hand with whatever was available in that place. Can’t recall…

So I am in parlor getting something done...may be facial or threading don’t remember. After that is done... I am feeling sick and tired. The Owner lady asked if I would like to put mehandi on my head and I realize I won’t be able to do it in US. I say how much time it will take and they say few mins (very quick it will be). Like always I get convinced and agree to get it done. Then the girl (worker) is trying to put mehandi in my head. My hair is not looking good on my head and I am not liking the process of applying mehandi. In between she is doing something else and its taking time. I get irritated and I argue with them. I am stressed, tired and almost crying while arguing. I am saying “You always do that. You always make fool of me. Why do you make fool of me and do such things always? Cant you see I am hurt, tired and sick”. The owner and worker ladies looking at me with blank faces and no response. I go to the nearest wash basin and realize I need to clear my nose. I thought it’s because I am almost crying. But when I touch my nose to blow, I realize my nose is swollen to double size and I am having difficulty in holding it to blow my nose. It’s hard, huge (yellowish-red) and hurting. But I try hard holding my swollen nose and blow my nose very hard. I do it again and it’s difficult. While doing it I see worker lady looking at me. I assumed she is sympathetic but I am not sure. Owner is least interested and insensitive to anything. I feel nose little bit cleared but not completely. My nose still swollen and hard. I am breathing better. And then I wake up from my dream….and started my day.

Dream Dictionary Interpretation:

Hurt hand which is bandaged:
1. A hand that is open and ……………
5. Tied hands imply obstacles in attaining one's goals, while shaking hands imply either a new friend or a reunion with an old one.
6. Injured or bandaged hands indicates delays in attaining one's goals; look to other symbols in the dream to discern how these delays can be subverted, or, if they're inevitable, how best the time during the delays can be spent.

Girl:
Depending on the circumstances and other symbols, dreaming of a young girl is generally a positive omen. If you know her, and the other dream symbols support it, this is a portent of new opportunities; if she is a stranger, expect some surprising news. For a woman, a strange girl can represent her youthful side; for a man, she could represent his ideal lover.

Hair not good quality
1. An ancient symbol for strength and power. See BALD. Thick, luxuriant hair is a symbol for good health, and thin, wispy hair a sign of oncoming illness.
2. Brushing or combing the hair indicates finding the solution to a problem. Dreaming of someone pulling your hair implies betrayal.

Nose swollen and Nose blown
A symbol with many possible meanings, depending on the perception of the dreamer.
1. If you dream of a well-shaped and well-defined nose, something that has been obscured will suddenly become clear to you - "as plain as the nose on your face."
2. A long, thin, perhaps twitching nose is a warning that someone around you is "nosing" into your affairs - "sticking their nose where it doesn't belong."
3. A stuffed-up nose indicates obstacles and blockages, but blowing your nose signifies that obstacles will be overcome.
4.A nosebleed indicates financial trouble ahead, and also is a warning not to lend anyone any money right now - or they'll "bleed you dry."
5. Dreaming of a large or swollen nose, however, is a portent of prosperity.

Adding it all:
Injured or bandaged hands indicates delays in attaining one's goals; look to other symbols in the dream to discern how these delays can be subverted, or, if they're inevitable, how best the time during the delays can be spent. If you know the Girl, and the other dream symbols support it, this is a portent of new opportunities; if she is a stranger, expect some surprising news. For a woman, a strange girl can represent her youthful side. Hair, an ancient symbol for strength and power. Thin, wispy hair a sign of oncoming illness. Brushing or combing the hair indicates finding the solution to a problem. Dreaming of someone pulling your hair implies betrayal. A stuffed-up nose indicates obstacles and blockages, but blowing your nose signifies that obstacles will be overcome. Dreaming of a large or swollen nose, however, is a portent of prosperity.

Dream telling me:
- delays in attaining one's goals
- how these delays can be subverted
- how best the time during the delays can be spent
- new opportunities/surprising news
- my youthful side
- strength and power
- oncoming illness
- finding the solution to a problem
- surprising/betrayal
- obstacles and blockages
- obstacles will be overcome
- portent of prosperity.

How cool! (and how boring too)
Am I dreaming what I already know? or Am I reading what I want to read? After doing all this interpretation I thought I'll put it here.

In the morning, when I woke up from my dream I thought (recalling my bad nose in the dream):
‘We should be careful. It’s getting colder each day and swine flu is spreading’ ;)

So much to do ...

I have wonderful group of friends. I am so overwhelmed at this time with the thought of having so many great friends and being so lucky that I am restless:).. what to do what to do.. how am I so lucky. I started opening up my gmail and contacting few whom I have been trying to contact but ended up not doing anything. As usual... Some other time I will write why I say I have so many good(very good) friends.

So leaving the topic of so many good friends aside( still I am happy .. )

I am trying to do many things. And I really want to do so much that I end up doing nothing. Its usual and I know I am not alone. I know few who are worst than me and few who are really god at it and I admire them.

So when I say I want to do so much its two type of things...1) I want to do so much in life and 2)I want to do at this moment. Its not the long term and short term list.

Its just I want to do so much in this short life:)

- I want to travel the whole world
- I want to do charity work and social work. The most satisfying thing for me
- I want to paint soooo much of various styles and categories
- I want to sew so many things I have in my mind
- I want to work in industry and be at a good position. Because I love to work
- I want to party regularly
- I want to have 5 kids or 3. I know its easy to say but no harm dreaming
- I want to live with my family for more time than I do
- I want to live with Mama(granny-in-law) for more time
- I want to get organized
- I want to be much healthier
- I want to shop more often than now
- I want to read more books

and the list goes on...

Thanks and more...

Thanks for all the messages and supporting comments and emails.

I think I need to improve my writing style. I am realizing that what I want to write and what it ends up into is quite different. Also if you know me personally the meaning gets biases. At the same time I don't want to write based on the readers I know. So its getting tough. In a way good and bad. I am happy overall. I am writing and open to everybody's view point and learning!

So few clarifications for Soul searching is ON I thought of adding this in comment but then decided to create a new post. --
I am not sad but I am bored. Obviously at times everybody is sad but this one time it was more about how we get bored with same old routine. One can be bored even when he/she is working/studying/parenting anytime.. because you need change.

The time spent in CHO, people and overall life at CHO .. everything was fun. I have had a very mobile life and interesting life till now. Friends, acquaintances, relations with people of various ages, backgrounds, cultures, opinions. Once you leave school/coll and you are alone, the world is really-really big. Every new place I move, I miss the previous place... but life goes on...

My current life is pretty good in respect of difficult times(touch wood!). I had few very difficult times in fact worst than recent times and all happens for a reason. We all face ups and downs in life. With time everything gets better but its the restlessness of that moment which kills you. P3 rule, Patience-Positiveness-Perseverance, is the key and its tough.

The groups mentioned were all of same age group(not with kids). I have few very good girlfriends with two kids and still talking to them is fun and interesting. So age group and living style doesn't matter I think.

One should never 'try' to 'fit' in a group of people. It's going to be temporary. If you will mix and merge without any effort that's going to stay longer. Changing schools every 2 years and moving 1000 times, fitting/adjusting is all easy and possible.

So 'where do I fit' is not literally 'fit into group of people'. It's a little different. I am unable to explain clearly. Will be able to do that someday.. may be at 60.. hehe.

Today....

I am not bored but angry..

I want to runaway like in the movie "Runaway Bride" :)

Another update: I am no more updating the movie update section in right panel of this blog. I have stopped watching latest movies these days. So no updates. I do watch movie on netflix though.

Happy living!!!

[Update] on Wed Jun 17th
I actually ran away. Phone was switched off and I went for walking and kept doing it for 2 hours. Beautiful houses, mansions infact, flowers and green grass... this place is beautiful in summer. Loving it!

Soul searching is ON

I am bored upto the core!!!

I had an interview few weeks back. those two weeks were best till now as I was busy and had something to do. I studied day and night and dont know how time went by. I cracked the first interview and failed(looks like) in the second one. The guy didnt like me it seems... Anyway. I realized selling yourself is so difficult even if you are asking half the marked price in return.

After that disappointment and few realizations I came back to my usual routine of checking others blogs, reading useless stuff etc.. I cleaned house, did some sewing chatted with every other person online. Spoke to relatives in India( who are still sane). I didn't actually talk to everybody with whom I love to talk because I do not go and approach others myself..( a bad habit/nature of mine.. am infamous for that) . I read lots of books(lots in my definition). Coming back to the main point. I have nothing to do and am bored.

I am talking to females who are either enjoying their happy married life and enjoy cooking for their family all day and talking to the thousands of relatives on topics like food/latest movies/woman's health etc etc.. eeee.. at times..its boring man.. For how long can you talk about it??? May be I am the one who is odd. OR there are times when I am talking to young blood. Girls/females on new generation. Happy enjoying American culture, style and in a way enjoying everything which makes them fit in America ( I do not know the full story of their end so should not comment more). Its good and I don't mind it as long as I am not supposed to change myself to be with them and they respect my personal style may be unique it is or may be an odd one.. So overall I am trying to find myself. Where am I? Who am I? What am I?

10 years back I used to sob in my room with doors closed as I wanted to go away from my house and see the real world learn lots of things. Not that there was anything wrong at my house. I just wanted to be outside and be myself which was impossible at home with my parents of 1940s. Now I know why my dad used to tell me learn how to make rotis.... till this date I cannot make round-even rotis which is another embarrassment at your in-laws. Though I enjoy cooking and love to cook for everybody but not in a way of impressing relatives/friends as its a competition or exhibition of my womanhood. Again I am distracting from topic... So 10 years back I fought/cried/pleaded that I want to be away from this place you all call home. Somehow with lot of trouble I managed to convince and left home. Happy I was when I was in the real world. Ohh its not good at all. But I was enjoying. Those all alone traveling in state buses of western UP, peer pressure at college (you know what I mean .. there are things other than studying at college) and much not to be mentioned here. Overall it was sweet pain. Every moment I struggled but I knew its the for the good and I am becoming something. By the way nothing worked well.. though I got a personality, street smartness, attitude but I was not a big success in my college. Career wise a failure:) what a shock and hard blow it was. Now what? No job, no hope.. back to home? NOooooooo. I realized getting a job is the most important thing in this world we live in. So lets get a job and to get a job get a degree. It was not such a simple theory I thought a lot and had good reasoning to come to this decision which I wont disclose. I decided to take one more chance and prove myself. By this time I had tried proving myself almost one thousand times and my family was sick of me. They knew she cannot do anything and just want to trouble us. This was the most interesting-painful time:). At this time I had no family support but I was smart. I knew crying like a baby will give me nothing from them. They just don't want to be troubled. I did everything on my own which is almost impossible. Thanks to a bunch of wonderful friends I have. I am always thankful to God for this one thing. Overall it was tough. I can recall I used to have amazing level of energy. Don't know from where did I get it. May be it was my last chance to prove myself. So the plan was, get degree to get a job, be independent and work little. That's all I wanted in my life. Come back and agree to what parents want. Marry the guy they ask me to marry. Simple!

Now landing in the land of opportunities makes things little different. I realized US is not a great place. People when talk to their family back in India never show their sad face and say all the great things about US. OMG its a pathetic place to be. Anyway, now there is no going back. Actually there was no way of going back even if I want to. Somehow I finished school got a job and degree and my plan was successful. Just that the going back to India and marrying part didn't work out the way I thought. My parents were finding guys and wanted me to interview and be interviewed????? I was a rebel again. By this time.. I was too smart or too rude or whatever it is. I troubled them once more and married to the love of my life. Now my family is happy and satisfied as their 1940's style fate of a daughter is a reality. For them she is happily married and I do not trouble them anymore!

Soul searching is still on. Who am I? Where do I fit? What do I want to do in life? and NOW I trouble my husband.

Chinese Astrology

I've been going to Barnes and Noble quite regularly and I am loving it... My wavering mind is full of questions. Whatever comes to my mind I instantly go to that section and find a book to read about it. :) Internet is also a good way. However, I enjoy going out and its more fun to see all books in front of you.

So I was sitting on a couch and reading some programming book. I noticed a book on the rack right in front of me. It was Astrology section and the book was Simply Chinese Astrology. As usual, I finished my techie book and picked up this book on Chinese Astrology. I almost finished full book. All those who enjoy reading such things should definitely give it a shot.

Now what is it about:

Every Chinese year is ruled by one of the twelve animals. Most of us have seen those table mats at a Chinese restaurant when you wait for your order. So knowing your year of birth you can find out which animal governs your birth year and then you can have an idea about you and many more things... I know we never give it any importance. I found it stupid to generalize the characteristics of people born in any one year. However its not that Chinese astrology does not give person specific characteristics. This year based prediction is a general idea similar to western zodiac signs.

Yin Yang theory is very important in Chinese culture. Everything is related in those terms. I am trying hard but I am still not clear about it. For example, the food they eat has its yin or yang effect on your body. It can increase your yin or yang. If you are feeling your yin is high on a day you should eat more yang food. Overall I think its like food which makes you more warm/hot etc.. so you should balance yourself by controlling the yin-yang. As I said I have not understood it completely but I believe in it. btw, what I just said is a part of Chinese Medicine.

Coming back to the book. So once you know your ruling animal you know your characteristics. The part I liked in the book was, how will be your year based on your ruling animal and that year's ruling animal. For example, a Sheep in an Ox year. Now Ox and Sheep doesn't go well together so it will be tough and there were many other details.

So this 12 years cycle repeats. The difference is that the element changes. For example, 1980 was a 'Metal' year of 'Monkey' but 12 years later 1992 was a 'Water' year of 'Monkey'. This means if you are not compatible with Monkey year then, every 12 years whenever Monkey year comes it will be tough for you. But if the accompanying element Metal or Water is compatible to your own element it might not be that much incompatible.

And then I used my all the free time:
- I listed my last 24 or more years with their ruling animal. Like all Ox years together and all Monkey years together...
- Then I tried to write big incidents in those years. Whatever I can remember.

And it was interesting to see that overall.. all similar(or important) events happened in same ruling animal's years. Obviously it is not perfect way of doing it. There are so many other things which effect ones life. And all my deductions could be completely wrong or biased. But I enjoyed knowing/learning something new:)

One example of what I found:
I have hardly stayed at any one place for more than 1 or 2 yrs. I keep changing schools, cities, jobs etc etc.. There is a duration of 4 years which is exactly 12 years later, when I was in same place with no change. All these four years are ruled by same animals. Lets see what happens in future. I should be in one place from mid 2010 to mid 2014 !

It was fun:)

Here's to all 'going to be a MOM' this year!

Is it something in the air or what! Every other friend of mine is expecting. I am very happy for all of you and Congratulations along with a big hug.

I think every other month we have at least one friend who is going to deliver a baby. Wow 2009 is the year of 2 becoming 3:)

Good luck to all of you with the new life and a new world too!

I love kids and enjoy being with kids. Yea.. also get tired when I have to play with them for as long as they want it. Just like every Indian wedding I also hear from our elders about taking the giant leap and join the world of threesome. Exactly the way we were poked and poked and poked till we finally gave in and got married just from there point of view. I still believe getting married is not a great idea. I would love to live the way I live without getting married. I strongly believe we should have been told/taught when we were kids the pros and cons of wedding, early wedding and late wedding ( I mean legally early). We should have been explained the consequences of having establishing a successful career early in life or late in life. Consequences of earning more degrees vs being in a job. Time frame which should be devoted to any one of the two. Why are we never given such words of wisdom in our society? Isn't it more important than saying Namaste to each and every person you meet on a daily basis. Or not arguing to elders on anything just because they are elders. howsoever wrong they might be. And very strongly believe all this is a must for girls in India. Life for a girl in India is hell! being nice goes against you and being not so nice no doubt always goes against you.

Anyway, I should not get distracted from the topic. So yes I am highly impressed and I respect all the moms to be for experiencing the most important and beautiful part of our existence. One big reason for my love for you and respect is that ..... confession time!.... I am toooo scared with the thought of getting pregnant and delivering a baby and taking care of a baby. I mean nine months! And if I sustain and take care of everything in those 9 months. After that? A baby in your life. I have been working hard in the last almost 10 years(and before also) to shape up my own life which is not working out the way I prefer it to be Or at least a stable one. How can I be sure I will be able to take care of a baby and provide all the good things, happiness, support and everything the best to a beautiful life. Which I really really want to provide. Buhuhu.. its scary!

May be I am not the only one, there must be more like me. But people usually don't talk about such topics.

I think for all of us late 70s and early 80s born, next decade will be all about kids! Just like the way last decade was all about career and wedding......

Thoughts/comments just pour in.. every word is appreciated. On top of that, I am in a new city, new home, jobless, friends-less .. so every thought and idea counts:)

March recap for myself and others...

Last post was in mid Feb. After that lot happened. Exactly like 2008, March 2009 was an amazing/adventurous/memorable/benchmark/farewell month for us.

- Early spring camping at Sherando Lake
- Had Holi fun
- Anxiety of whats going to happen (with THE PHD!!!)
- Should we pack or not yet..
- We needed a break. Should we plan it or not! Can we afford it?
- Want to meet our close friends.. can it fit in our tight schedule
- Am I troubling Mr. Husband by my all time suggestions and ideas and anxiousness?
- Mid March... Hell! what am I doing? I have always enjoyed life. I take risk for fun (crib later though). Lets go for it! I decided to become the super-woman:
-- I will plan a surprise trip to Florida
-- I will do packing
-- I will take care of all paper work etc..
-- I will take care of car insurance/selling/moving
-- I will plan farewell lunches and dinners with all our friends
-- I will plan a party for Mr. Dr. Husband .. (shshh.. keep it low profile till its done. we are currently jinxed)
-- I will do everything possible in a perfect happy world!

What was I thinking? Anyway.. all went well. Not perfect (as I prefer) but it was fun and memorable.

• We had wonderful post defense party. Thanks to all the friends around.
• We had celebrations at our half-packed house
• We went to South Beach, Miami. Yes we did! It was amazing and relaxing exactly what we wanted.
• We had good old friends at our half-packed house and had tooooo much fun! Discussions, tea sessions, leg pulling, PJs, helping hands, helping minds too..... Good times. I love meeting close friends and relatives regularly. And I respect/admire those who does it too. May be that is why we are 'Extroverts'. Every time you meet, the bonding and knowing each other becomes stronger. Sometimes( not so often) at that very moment the meeting is not as pleasant as one expected and we feel why we made this trip. But in the long run we forget all that and remember the moment and good memories and people. Hidden message: Lets keep meeting !
  

Last week of march was so so so busy that we were doing several things at a time. We wanted to enjoy the moment with friends and also do our very important tasks too. It was tough, tiring and exhaustive both physically and mentally.

Anyway after all the houch-pouch(spelling???) of fun and work. We wrapped up from Charlottesville. Little senti and little excited we reached Pittsburgh on 1st April.

What happened (or is happening) after that is still in progress. I am currently in the middle of waves so I cannot say its good or not so good. Just struggling with everything but still performing and hanging in there:).

" This too Shall Pass! "

I know I will pass. Have always passed with average or passing marks. ( though I have always been sad for not being a topper:) )

This post was solely to jot down the roller coaster month we had. I have much more in mind to write.. as Bawri Baatein.

I have a hopeless Hope !

Title of the post says everything I have to say!

I think human species exist on hope. So I am not new. I want to know if everybody out there is living with some hope or its just few emotional creatures like me. Or may be some people have more than a hope. mmm .. may be they know for sure. I would call that also a hope. Just being confident about your hope wont change it to present:)

Just realized that since childhood I always had 'hopeful' hope. In the past few years its becoming 'hopeless' hope.

Here is what I remember on 'HOPE' from one of my favorite movies The Shawshank Redemption

• Red: Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.
  .....
  
• Andy Dufresne: [in letter to Red] Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.
  .....
  
• [last lines]
  Red: [narrating] I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
  

What kind of hope do you have? If any?

What I have been watching recently !

I noticed recently that every time I call or talk to friends. There is a common question. "Did you watch any new movie recently? " and I am doing mmmm hmmm ya.. looking at the ceiling to recall... and my brain is doing parallel processing and thinking.. Was this actually a question or its just to start a conversation.. am I boring? No no.. its a good question. this way we get to know about new movies and reviews. All is well! :) ( I know I am a sadist:) )

I am adding a list in the right side of this blog with the recent movie/TV series watch. two reasons:
- To help me remember good movies I watched
- and also to help others if they are looking for a movie to watch

ratings are based on my liking.
- less than 5: you are not missing anything
- more than 5: not bad just to pass time

Please do tell me if you find anything interesting to watch.

take care!